I know I'm enough. I know my worth comes from Him, not any him. I know I don't need a boy to love me, to be invited to everything, and to always look picture ready. I know all this. I know I am enough.
I have fallen asleep repeating something like that over and over again in my head. I know these things, I can say all the catchy slogans, I can picture all the pretty pieces I've read, the journals I've filled to get here... and yet at midnight, I know I know this stuff, but I'm not believing it for a minute.
One of my best friends called me early in the afternoon and I could hear the quiver in her voice. Suddenly, the girl who never cries was crying and losing herself at 2pm over FaceTime with me. Suddenly the girl who was always reassuring me needed to be reassured by her own words. I told her the same things she has told me countless times as I cried to her. She knew the truth, she just couldn't believe it in the moment.
You can turn to scripture, you can repeat truth over and over again to conquer the lies you’re feeding yourself, but sometimes even that won’t be enough it seems. Sometimes in the moment, it all seems too big to be fixed by anything. That's when we want to shut away and give up because believing just isn't enough. In those moments, don't hide. Moments pass and even in the messy moments of heartbreak and anxiety will turn into a memory. Trust me, I have been in those ugly moments when I have broken down and been convinced that nothing can fix this moment. I wish I could tell you that everything will be ok if you pray. Prayer and a relationship with Christ and the wisdom of knowing truths about our identity won't fix everything immediately and all the time, but these are few things I have learned that have helped me remember truths when all I want to do is forget them.
I have fallen asleep repeating something like that over and over again in my head. I know these things, I can say all the catchy slogans, I can picture all the pretty pieces I've read, the journals I've filled to get here... and yet at midnight, I know I know this stuff, but I'm not believing it for a minute.
One of my best friends called me early in the afternoon and I could hear the quiver in her voice. Suddenly, the girl who never cries was crying and losing herself at 2pm over FaceTime with me. Suddenly the girl who was always reassuring me needed to be reassured by her own words. I told her the same things she has told me countless times as I cried to her. She knew the truth, she just couldn't believe it in the moment.
You can turn to scripture, you can repeat truth over and over again to conquer the lies you’re feeding yourself, but sometimes even that won’t be enough it seems. Sometimes in the moment, it all seems too big to be fixed by anything. That's when we want to shut away and give up because believing just isn't enough. In those moments, don't hide. Moments pass and even in the messy moments of heartbreak and anxiety will turn into a memory. Trust me, I have been in those ugly moments when I have broken down and been convinced that nothing can fix this moment. I wish I could tell you that everything will be ok if you pray. Prayer and a relationship with Christ and the wisdom of knowing truths about our identity won't fix everything immediately and all the time, but these are few things I have learned that have helped me remember truths when all I want to do is forget them.
- Open you're freaking bible. It sounds cheesy and silly, but please just do it. There was one night I was just not feeling God or like journaling because everything just seemed too much and you know what I did? I opened my bible right to a verse I once highlighted about overcoming anxiety and I wrote down every verse along those lines because I need to grill truth into my heart. If my head wasn't going to remember verses I had memorized and knew, I was gonna write them down and make myself see the truth infant of me.
- Lean on someone else. If you can't do it alone, call a friend or someone you trust. Guess what there are only so many ways to tell someone the truths of life and chances are that person is going to say something along the lines of something you have once said to someone else. That person can see things more clearly than you can right now.
- Be broken. This sounds depressing, but hear me out. You are going to have lows. There are going to be nights that are hard. Plain and simple, because life isn't easy. Let yourself feel some pain and feel those emotions. The trick with this is that you can't stay at these low points. You hit the bottom and then you have to realize that you need to pick yourself up now.
- Listen to the Word- the ultimate truth. Play some worship music, listen to your bible on an app, just hear truths being said all around you. Give yourself an environment that is breathing the word of God and dwell in it. You'd be surprised that just being in the presence of hearing truth will help you to believe it.
- Persevere in prayer. You don't think God is here? You don't think He can hear your prayers in this moment? It might feel like that, but darling he is right here. Right beside you, and he can hear every word in your heart. Keep praying and keep talking to Him. I like to think of God as the sun- even though you can't always feel Him, you know he's always there.
I wish I could be with you in your moments of pain and I wish I could be there to encourage you and to remind you of your identity in Christ. I promise you as much as I might write truths I want girls to hear, I am guilty of sometimes the girl who can't believe what she preaches in every moment of life. I have bad days, hard nights, and low points. I am not perfect, but I believe in a merciful God who is here to pick us up and reset us when we can't remember the truth. Turn to Him and He will show you the truth- I promise.
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